Because I totally Want To Be Like This

I do not have many vices. Books, movies, Netflix, video games.

But I eat. I eat too much. I'm not huge, because gods be good the weight distributed well.

But my dietary habits suck. My living situation has not helped this. I'd like to eat healthier but without a place to keep vegetables and fruits without perishing,well, its a lost cause.

I'm not able to starve myself.

Hell, its nearly impossible to resist eating for me. I don't know if I'd call it addiction. More...a coping measurement.

I developed stress eating way back when. I found if you gave me a box of my favorite fruit pops while my dad was home, I devoured it in two days. If he was on a work trip, I mabe had one every other day in a week.

Chocolate is my favorite. Failing that, cream cheese on bagels. A bagel with cream cheese is one of my favorite things. Which is not a great thing when you work offers free food on the clock, as long as its not pre-packaged (excluding chips). This includes bagels and cream cheese.

And chips.

I am genetically inclined to devour potatoes. Welsh, Irish, Scottish, Polish, a bit of German, and a mess of other things.

I don't like being nearly three hundred pounds. I was only around two-fifty for years. Actual years my body was perfectly comfortable at that size.

Since april I hit 280.

Before you say "oh exercise more"

Let me ask: How?

I can't afford a gym, even if I wanted to. In the house I dwell in I either sit in my room and clean or sit in my mom's room and game. There's not room to exercise in mine, and my mother's room is on top of the house-directly over our land lady. Sound travels, and we would get hell. I've caused trouble by vacuuming in the afternoon before. And to go into the rest of the houe means risking her wrath for something we probably didn't do. More on the hell houe another day.

The kitchen isn't off limits persay but its not worth a fraction of the trouble to be there when the Land Lady is.

So nutrition is out the window. It went from too hot to move to too cold to go out in shockingly little time.

Do you know what happens when you can't get proper nutrients?

You don't stop being hungry. Ever.

There may be a relief in my near future.

But dear fat shamers of the world.

Overweight is as much a sign of malnourishment and underweight. It just means you have access to more calories.

You don't know why they can't exercise more. There's not always time.

Now I have to resist gorging for the next four hours. I want to be good and do part of a breakfast sandwich, skip the bun, add lettuce and tomato, and an orange juice.

Hopefully that will help.

If not I look forward to hating myself a little more tonight when I also eat a bagel. Or a burger. Or both.