Tuesday, November 29, 2016
I Know Why You're Alone
Saturday, November 26, 2016
When It Rains
I got a late letter today from the worker's comp company. They want to cut me off. I knew this was coming of course, but the fact that the letter was late, came on Saturday, and was originally sent to the wrong address-not a fun combo.
I'm terrified to be honest. But its the waiting that's the worst. I left a voice mail for a lawyer I've been talking to-and emailed her the documents.
They got the documents in August 9th. Why the hell did it take them three or four months to process this when an IME from the beginning of August to tell me they were attempting to terminate? I've been waiting for four months in pain for a stupid pain clinic consult-now in four days time.
And now my stomach is in knots. Did work get this same letter? Am I expected to report to the office? I can't work, no matter what their doctor said. I cannot pick up ten pounds for durations, I cannot stand for durations, hell-I can't sit and game for durations without pain! I can't clean a pantry. And oh yeah-virtually all of the muscle relaxants and pain relievers they have prescribed interact with my anti-anxiety meds causing a seratonin reaction. So I've been having to choose pain or mental state for way too long now, and I'm cheering because hey pot's going to be legalized in this state, maybe that can help me with all of the above!
I'm 25 years old with a bizarre injury of unexplained nature. And they have done nothing to fix me. They have done everything short of call me a liar-including one doctor who had the gall to ask me why I wasn't better! I don't know, aren't you the one who went to medical school. I'm just an English Major!
So right now I'm anxious and angry and I can't calm down and I'm just...pissed.
And I can't do anything until Monday, because that's when the Lawyer is back in the office.
Friday, November 25, 2016
Day After
Thanksgiving was shockingly peaceful. Mom and I had a turkey stuffing pot pie. And her pumpkin pie is amazing. We've been binge watching Gilmore Girls. I have all kinds of new feelings based on my own worldly experiences.
I tried out World of Warcraft. Black Friday sale. Five dollars and a month of play. My chosen sister is super excited.
I will give it another shot tomorrow.
But right now I find the game play lacking.
Nervous about the upcoming pain clinic consult. Not long now.
Tuesday, November 22, 2016
Lost in Limbo
Friday, July 8, 2016
Of the Silver Isle and Shadow Magic
Tuesday, July 5, 2016
Lonely Heart
Monday, June 27, 2016
#2WeeksWithTwuWuv
I'm off to see my sweetheart for 2 whole weaks! In which we have both our birthdays and the 4th of July.
There are no words for how much I need this Mini Break, but I'm going to try.
Lets see. Still no idea what my injury is. Still out on Workman's comp. That nonsense with Boston.
But now 2 weeks. 2 weeks with the one I love and all the furkids.
14 days of blessed time in the same space. To relax. To be with her. Updates will happen.
Friday, June 24, 2016
Ophelia Capulet: Haunted-A Piece of Fiction
Thursday, June 23, 2016
Those Jerks at 4B, Shapiro Building, the Boston Medical Center
Compassion and Understanding
Tuesday, June 14, 2016
"One of his students destroyed it."
So now that Force Awakens is out on home video, I can rewatch till I get sick.
One thing I noticed
In my viewing in theaters I thought Kylo Ren killed a bunch of other Padawans or Apprentices ala Anakin.
This time I listened to Han explain.
Luke had been training a new generation of Jedi
And then one of them (Presumably Kylo) "Destroyed it"
Questions:
How many little Jedi?
How did he destroy it?
What if there were only two?
Ben Solo
And Rey
Origins of Rey aside she is obviously more powerful then Ren. Assuming he's 30 as said (I have my doubts but for theory)
Ren was born one year after Endor
Rey about eleven after.
According to Wikipedia.
Lets say what happened was Kylo Ren, influenced by Snokes, snuck Rey out and dropped her on Jakku. Perhaps jealous of the special attention she got from Luke.
Threatened by her ability, or maybe another Bullshit prophecy. Who knows.
Force Mind Tricks happen. All Kylo would need to do is jumble a young Rey's memory. Again, he has eleven years on her, so easily late teens or twenties.
Follow up: He knows about Rey on Jakku. When one of his followers speaks of BB8 having help from a girl, he reacts not with sexist frustration, nor another hissy fit. But alarm and question: "What girl?"
Thus Luke could have potentially taken off trying to find Rey, because "He felt responsible". But the universe is HUGE. Assuming Ben didn't run off right away.
Next up: Han Solo even thought about going to check Jakku to find the Falcon. But never did. Why?
Potentially a Force Mind Trick. Wouldn't be hard.
The extent he (Ren) fears Rey-he knows who she is. What she can become. What a danger she is. That he knows she is untrained.
Again, this is all conjecture and theory. But its mine.
Monday, June 13, 2016
The Future Does Scare Me
Hey world. The blog is getting quieter. No surprise. Life is normalizing. Also I'm still out on Workman's comp so day to day is pretty similar.
New DnD campaign has begun. That's been fun.
But... Orlando.
Its no secret. I'm a bisexual feminist Wiccan.
My heart goes out to the victims. My heart aches. I await anxiously word from a friend in Flordia who has a gay sister. They've taken day trips to Orlando before.
It was a hate crime.
Done by a deeply imbalanced individual.
Nothing more. Nothing less. It had nothing to do with his religion. Everything to do with hate.
I have-had a dear friend. I knew him since my freshman year of high school. My first day. We dated for a whole week back then.
He was always a little Red Neck. His dad had a yard of fallen cars littered with Beer Cans. A house that was a huge mess. Gun fanatics.
But the Racism didn't come out till he moved to Texas 5 years ago. It may have been why I shied away from Texas so severely.
I've realized Texas just draws out your inner self, be that good or bad. The one I love is from Texas. I wouldn't change a thing about her.
He went full on gun fanatic. Full on Racist. Hate boner for Muslims.
Today, after Trump tweeted about how this shooting proved him right about Muslims, I asked my friend to disavow him.
He wouldn't. He defended him.
I'm done. It sucks but I tried. I had already unfriended him. Now I have blocked him. On my phone. On Facebook. I will probably write him a final letter. No return address. Or a glitter bomb. Probably a glitter bomb.
It hurts. But I can't. Years of caring don't go away. But his hate trumps (oops) his care about my well being.
Take Care, Orlando. Take Heed, America. United we stand, divided we fall.
We all talk about revolution like it would be Fallout.
Or Walking Dead with less Zombies.
My mother reminded me of Margaret Atwood's "A Handmaid's Tale".
I am legitimately afraid of the future and what it may hold.
I've already talked about guns and Muslims and all that.
Today I just write
Bless.
Friday, June 10, 2016
Positivity Post
So the visit with Dad and his visit here were... Exhausting.
But today instead I give a shout out to the amazing independent game company
Three Minute Games
Creators of Lifeline, its sequel Lifeline: Silent Night, Lifeline 2, and Lifeline: White Out.
Each story features you getting contact with a character who needs help, or even just someone to talk to. Interactive text based stories-choose THEIR adventure, and fates.
Lifeline and Silent Night star King Nerd, a lovable if awkward science intern named Taylor. His adventure begins when the spaceship he was working on his thesis crashed on a mysterious planet.
Lifeline 2 stars Arika, a Mage in Converse trying to save her brother and avenge her parents. I believe her world may be linked to Taylors. Also she is queen Nerd.
Whiteout stars Adams, who is an amnesiac in an artic area unknown. His future and past combine and a sequel is strongly hinted at.
They are amazing journeys. Do to the characters actively interacting and talking to you the emotional ante goes way up. Their voices are very natural and it helps me feel... Less alone when I play.
So spare a buck or two. Meet Taylor in his original adventure, or Arika in 2.
Wednesday, June 1, 2016
Dreadfort Bound
I know I haven't been blogging as much as usual lately.
Believe it or not that was a good thing.
I was happy. I was on Tumblr. Gaming. Wii Fitt. Redecorating. Writing.
But I'm going to need this blog for the next few days.
I'm going back to my childhood home where Dad is getting ready to move out.
Bolton Road.
Combined with the feelings of Dread when I return I nicknamed it after Roose Bolton's layer in Game of Thrones
Tuesday, May 24, 2016
A Matter of Character
SO I feel the need to clarify something.
Being a woman does not define me.
Being bisexual does not define me.
I am who I am because I am. Nature and nurture have created the Spryte Magnus of today.
So there is no reason James Bond would be any less bad ass as a woman or a black man, or oh my gosh, a Black Woman. (#AgyemanFreemaForBond) He or she would still be a bad ass. They would still be a top ranking spy, 007. They would still be suave, they would still be flirtatious, they would still be a clever devil.
Gender and race do not define a character anymore then they define a person.
It is actions and personality that do.
Beware there may be slight Civil War spoilers ahead.
Now, as for the matter of Bisexual Steve Rogers. One, there is no force in this universe that can tell me he's not. Now he's a confused bi boy because he was from the 40's. There are countless allusions in the comic world. Including my personal favorite despite my hating the pairing, virtually every Avenger asking why he and Tony haven't gotten married yet. [Fun Fact: In an alternative universe where Tony was born a woman, and they did get married. My belief is the hold up is Tony is hetro as they come. That said I still do not support the pairing. One, I just don't see it. Two, Steve knew Tony's father.].
For one, Steggy forever, got it? That said in MCU and in many of the comic verses, poor Peggy has passed on.
This does not excuse Steve kissing people he shouldn't be with minimal to No build up do you hear me Marvel?! DO YOU HEAR ME? THAT WAS COMPLETELY INAPPROPRIATE FOR SO MANY REASONS.
Anyway.
Here's the thing about Steve Rogers.
He's brave. He's noble and honorable. He believes in freedom and the American Way. He is unbelievably loyal. He's the kid from Brooklyn who repeatedly forged paperwork to try to get into the army. Dreamy. Willing to throw himself on a grenade to save others.
Not one of these all important traits suggests one way or other with his sexuality.
I am in fact pissed at Marvel pushing their heterosexual indifference, which is when a pair of characters are only assumed for possible romance if opposite gender. [Side Eyes the ONLY PART OF CIVIL WAR I DID NOT APPROVE OF. Not because Hetro Steve. But choice of lady and lack of build up].
Anyway. Moving on from that.
Lets talk about my favorite Gaybies, or Bibies. Poe Dameron and Finn.
I actually got into a heated argument with a friend who is normally a slash shipper about them.
She believes they have no chance pairing off because we aren't going to get a same sex couple in Star Wars. Also she ships Finn Rey. We respectfully disagree there.
Side Note: I feel Finn is one very new at life. He only recently won freedom to pick his fate. Which means he's pretty open minded. Definitely bisexual.
Now lets discuss the characters.
Poe Dameron. Sassy. Smart. Clever. Best damn pilot. Single Dad to BB8.
Finn. Brave. Follows his heart. Bit of a closet bad ass. Noble. Loyal to friends.
Once again, nothing in these two suggests sexuality. Well, I could make an argument or two about Finn's bisexuality. The point remains its not part of his personality.
Anyway.
ANYWAY.
The whole jacket exchange. The excitement at seeing each other again.
Don't get me wrong. Finn and Rey could be cute. But currently Poe and Finn hold way more ship points.
Also someone pointed out Poe's lip bite when he says "Keep it, it suits you".
Lip biting means nervous. Or attracted. Or both.
OKAY sorry now I'm back on track.
The point is, regardless of how Poe or Finn pair off, their characters are not defined by their sexuality.
So lets go over this.
I am not defined by my gender, race, or sexuality.
You are not defined by your gender, race, or sexuality.
Characters are not defined by their gender, race, or sexuality.
I am defined by my experiences and actions.
You are defined by your experiences and actions.
Characters are defined by their experiences and actions.
Thus
James Bond is not defined by his race, gender, or sexuality. He is defined by his experiences and actions.
Steve Rogers aka Captain America is not defined by his race, gender, or sexuality. He is defined by his experiences and actions.
Poe Dameron and Finn are not defined by their race, gender, or sexuality. They are defined by their experiences and actions.
Now in regards to two arguments. One, from my father.
"James Bond and Movies in general have to show realism".
Movies, books, podcasts, music, comics, and video games are under no obligation to show anything. Especially in the genres of spy action fiction, super hero, and scifi.
Now I'll be the first to and an addendum.
Fiction should know show reality as it is. Fiction should show reality as it should be. See in 2012, White House Down, and Olympus Fallen nobody was questioning those black presidents birthplaces. Nor in 24 or the short lived Commander in Chief, though to be fair that one featured a woman president (which we have yet to see) and her nominating a black vice president.
So no, I don't believe movies or media should show reality as it is. I believe media and movies should be used to expose the flaws in the society they were made in. Now, in terms of genres like adventure, I believe Gene Roddenberry summarized in best in regards to Star Trek Next Gen. I will paraphrase.
If the point of the show is space exploration in a futuristic society, no one should give a flying fuck about whether a captain is bald or not.
Similarly, if the movie is about a super spy doing impossible things with advanced technology that doesn't exist yet, no one should care about whether they are black or white or have a penis or a vagina.
(Ditto Scifi but I refuse to deal with the people whining about Star Wars having woman protagonists today. That said I will Will Smith pose at FINN, the OTHER VII protagonist).
If a movie is about Superhero's, no one should care if the hero falls in love with someone of the same sex.
And if its god damn Star Wars the fanbase has way bigger things to worry about then Stormpilot.
Now, another argument.
"James Bond is a symbol of masculinity."
I would say so is Bruce Wayne.
Your argument is invalid. Good day.
Monday, May 23, 2016
Oh Right
Hi all! Still alive and well. Better then. Writing original fic again. Making sprite comics again. Sitting down and gaming again. Dieting and beginning to exercise when my injuries allow. Finished my first DnD campaign! Unexpected Dark Elf Hobbit ladyship. A good thing. Wednesday starts another campaign. Should be sweet. If a trickier commute.
Finally...
My mother and I broke down. Dad has to be out of the house on my birthday. The sale is complete. Then he moves to Virginia and it gets to be a lot more difficult to see him.
So for his birthday I decided to go down to see him for one last hurrah.
A course of action I already regret as he has decided this means one of the two days goes to Mom and I helping sort junk to collect. Even though we told him repeatedly we didn't want much. Even though I told him that was not the point of the visit.
Comically the Universe opted to give me an appointment the day I planned to return. Scheduling rearranging. Either Dad comes up while Mom and I have shit to do or he spends his birthday alone.
Time will tell if we even go still.
This morning they gave me a cortisone shot. We'll see how it goes. Truth be told I had a weird god damn reaction and it isn't helping my arm much.
Tomorrow I plan to write. Either you will get original drabble here or a word count
Monday, May 16, 2016
End of My Rope
I got another bill recently, from a debt collector.
Apparently my ER visit in October had hidden surcharges. That is to say, there was an additional fee that the physician charged, not wrapped up in my 50 dollar a month payment plan from Cape Cod Healthcare.
A fee I had no knowledge of until this bill from the debt collector, which affects my credit score, appeared.
So now I'm going to begin my tale. My mother has contacted State Officials. They want accounts. So I'm writing an account, since I began working under Chris Columbus.
If I cannot fuse these charges with my payment plan, I will now paying out more in living costs then I receive from workman's comp checks.
Thursday, May 12, 2016
Inspiration
The First Book of Jezebel: Something Holy This Way Comes.
I'm determined to get the draft done by the time I turn 25, the 30th of June.
Its outlined. I have a fancy new refurbished iMac to write on.
I'm in a warm new environment that allows my creative juices to emerge.
I feel confident.
And I'm out of work until the Doctor's fix me. So this might just happen.
In the mean time, enjoy Red: A Modern Fable. This one has some rape culture content warnings. But it was the story that really gave me the strength to write original fiction because I presented it at an Honor's Conference and got an amazing reaction.
Tuesday, May 10, 2016
Literature and Politics
I kind of have a knee jerk reaction to certain things.
Except its a wrist jerk.
Pen jerk?
I write.
Thus I found this video on my facebook feed and nearly threw up. Its basically a Jehovah's Wittness mommy telling her daughter its okay to go back to school and tell her classmate that having two mothers is not okay. (By the way Google Docs, stop telling me I'm spelling mothers wrong. Or Mommys. Well maybe Mommys. I'm not sure if that should be Mommys with y-s or Mommies with Ies.
Anyway. In simple retaliation I wrote a short story set in my little universe of the Nevaeh Agency.
Enjoy.
Jezebel Has Two Mommys
Thursday, May 5, 2016
Owies
The pain in my shoulder.
Well.
Its gotten worse
Much worse.
Now it tends to take the form of painful seizing along my upper back and shoulders. Everything tightens up and pinches and I fight back tears.
They gave me better meds for the pain and an MRI is finally being ordered. That was Monday. Today is Thursday and no word.
I wanna write.
I wanna finish cleaning.
But I'm still healing from the trauma of the Hell House and the betrayal of Peter Pan.
New misery caused by pain does not help.
Wednesday, May 4, 2016
May the Fourth Be With You...
What about Coriolanus Snow, from Hunger Games?
Red Skull, in Captain America?
Now time for a harder one.
Lex Luthor, Superman's arch rival?
Some of you may be asking "But Spryte of course he's evil why is that the hard one?"
Well because in the wake of Ted Cruz dropping out of the race, followed by Kasich, real life Lex Luthor Donald Trump has a chance at becoming president.
Its not Trump supporters I reach out to. You have all already decided your racist bigots and don't mind being called on it. He really could shoot five people and not lose another vote. (To be fair, he might get convicted for a felony, and that would stop him).
No, it is sadly, everyone else I reach out to who does not actively endorse Donald Trump.
Bernie Sanders Supporters, more then anyone. Hillary Clinton supporters as well, though they aren't as hostile about "not voting" if their girl doesn't get the nomination, where as Sanders supporters do.
Politics don't matter here. Well, they matter a little.
We cannot allow Donald Trump to become President.
As a bisexual Wiccan woman in love with a gender fluid pan Texan, I fear for a future in his control.
The future described in Margaret Atwood's "The Handmaid's Tail" doesn't seem so unlikely if he takes control.
Or worse, the Fallout franchise. Think about it. The president and the secretary of defense are the only people who have to sign off on a nuclear launch. The only thing that has prevented any of those since World War II ended is the idea of M.A.D.-mutually assured destruction.
In other words if say, in theory we elected Trump and he got mad because Putin suggested he had small hands (or anything else because now its okay for would be presidents to talk about that?). Hopefully the secretary of defense would not clear the launch, but lets say he did.
Putin insults Trump.
Trump launches a nuke at Russia.
That portion of Russia realizes its happening via computers and such. Reminder, Russia is about twice the size of USA.
Even if we could somehow wipe out Russia in one blow, thus assuring no war as a result, you can basically guarantee their last action would be a giant middle finger in the form of their own nuclear warhead.
So, to start off with.
If you are anything but a heterosexual straight white cis male, you need to get out and vote down Trump. Because he is not a candidate who will support you. In fact he may have already suggested you're a rapist, murderer, or terrorist.
If you are a heterosexual straight white male, you probably should get out and vote down Trump anyway.
He doesn't know how to run a business. He always sinks them. But the man can talk people into funding him. Which proves to me he is fairly charismatic and intelligent.
And unfortunately he's also proved to be insane and possibly bipolar. I don't say that as a professional. I say that because I've watched him change opinions faster then a ferret turns its head, and back and forth just as much.
Because he's said stuff like he would date his daughter if she wasn't his daughter, and from way back "we'll wait and she what she inherits from her mother in that department" while gesturing in a way to mean breasts.
If you are a woman, you should be afraid.
If you are transgender, you should be afraid.
If you are not white, you should be afraid.
If you are not straight, you should be afraid.
If you are straight, you should be afraid.
If you are white, you should be afraid.
If you are cisgender, you should be afraid.
If you are a man, you should be afraid.
A nation under Trump is a future to fear.
So we have two options.
One: Collect bottle caps as inevitable currency when the country falls apart, possibly the world.
Two: On November 8th, you get out there and vote against Trump. Preferably all for the same candidate. I know we would all love a third party. That's not going to happen. So Sanders or Clinton, please, to whatever dear and fluffy god you worship, vote for the front runner who is not Trump.
Sanders fans, do not write in Sanders. I support him myself, but if Clinton gets the nomination, all you will do is split the vote-and Trump wins.
Clinton fans: same basic set up. If you split the vote, Trump wins.
So don't abstain from voting. Don't vote for someone who might not stand a chance.
Stand together against a future filled with radioactive mutants and ghouls.
Vote. Down. Trump.