Toward the End

Christmas was interesting to say the least. As previously mentioned, my soul brother Frodo was the first person I saw on Christmas morning and he came bearing gifts. Then the land lady, who I have spoken of frequently in aggressive tones, requested (spelled: demanded) my mother and I come to the first floor.

So she could give us gifts.

And stockings.

Which I definitely did not expect. And was a little alarmed by. But it has been commented my mother is alarmed when she feels happy and becomes worried when I look content.

We cleared out before the environment got too hostile after the gifts, feeling almost like part of the family. Which I think would explain a lot of why the land lady treats us the way she does.

Its worth noting several of her children were institutionalized in their youth.

Dad occupied for a few days. You might note I say occupied-not visited, because that is what he does-invade. The idea that I might want to spend time with someone else while he is present offends him.

(Side note: I visited Frodo. I am quite worried about him.)

The fact that Mom and I had no fun filled suggestions for what to do offended him. Then when we were left idle we played with our phones offended him. The fact that I had a really bad sinus infection and work offended him. That my mother who left him several years ago might not want to sleep in the same room.

(Side Note: Father, don't you DARE compare your and mom's separation to Han Solo and Leia. That said if you insist, just call me Kylo Ren. Some of you will understand this reference. The rest of you should go see Force Awakens)

He got very accusatory and judgmental about my life choices, like not trying to substitute because I have a secure job. He kept trying to explain his experience with 401ks, even though they are from over a decade ago and a completely different field. Also missing the point that my period had just begun and I was already sick and I was moody because of the snow.

(Side note to male hypochondriacs: Do not say "Me too" when a girl says she is having cramps).

I am having a new experience. I have an Amazon gift Card at my disposal. And I have no idea what I intend to do with it. Like I have thoughts but not enough to commit. Maybe a Bento Box.

Daddy Go Home

Cramps. Horrible cough. Fever. Back to work. And Dad is still here. Time for rest and meds and megapost from work maybe

Abbreviated Summary

Life still under occupation by Darth Dad. Saw VII again. Escaped whiny brat father by going to hang out with Frodo. Mega Post tomorrow night. I hope.

Invaded

The Day After Christmas

Bizarrely my phone calendar has marked the day after Christmas.

So yesterday was probably my best Christmas ever. An odd statement.

I woke up to Frodo knocking on my door so he could gift me. An amazingly well made binder for magic cards. Card sleeves for my deck. And a new set of table top dice. An excellent haul and very considerate of him.

And  this is another to be continued. Dad has arrived for a late holiday.  Mega post in the works.

Happy Hogswatch One and All!

Gonna keep tonight short and sweet. Happy Solstice, Merry Christmas, and Happy Hogswatch!

Wait you've never heard of Hogswatch?

You've never heard of the Hogfather?

You poor deprived thing. Well fortunately for you theres a very informative movie called The Hogfather. You should definitely check it out. To this day it is one of my favorite Christmas movies.

When the Muse Strikes

I am currently working on drafting a particular fantasy story. I am writing it in five minute segments that I edit after. With luck I will do them all in order and weave them all together later. If not I'll just fill in the gaps.

I have also been anagramming town names for the purpose of locations.  Or state or county names. I've resorted to cutting up paper tiles and literally rearranging them. It helped.

The thing is the piece I am working on.

..it's the closest to Allegory I will every write. It's loaded with social commentary-on how the country has changed since 9/11 and because of it. And not for the better.

If this takes off its honestly the one I'm most scared of the reaction for.

I can't change that though. I'm a writer. I write as inspired.

Untitled

I have a new ewok hat. This is awesome. I have a new method of writing. Also cool.

Not cool: working 8:45am-10:15pm tomorrow, not getting to sleep in my own bed half the time, and up for a 5:30 opening shift to 2:30. I am really hoping for some serious wind tomorrow so we just get cancelled on the island and I get paid for the whole shift.

The 17th was my last day off. My next is 28th.

I think I'm being punished for daring to call in sick.

I think I may implement some sort of day off policy for Mom. Namely if I have 2 days off on one I am not leaving the house.

5 Minute Writing Challenge I

Princess Prism had known the last time she would truly embrace her father. Yes, the King Obsidian returned from the ruins in body, but his soul had been broken by what he saw. In order to survive in their new world, Obsidian became apathetic about others.

Unfortunately that included Princess Prism and Queen Opal. The royal family had not been perfect before but the ghost of a man who returned

Broken Mask

For most of my young life I had an anxiety disorder. It went undiagnosed  because of how it manifested.

I pushed myself. After rising from the ashes of grade school and amending a two year education gap in six months, I became a beacon of hope in my special education school-a symbol, a chosen one.

I was 12. Maybe.

I went from not just doing well because I could succeed but because I had to excel. Anything less then high marks was a failure. I was letting down my parents, my teachers, my classmates, my schools, and future students who would need additional help.

No one did this to me. I did. I warped my own reality because of anxiety.

Achieving high grades became about more then learning. I forgot I enjoyed learning.

I could not confront my father when he demanded my mother and I's company every night. I could not tell anyone I could not handle it. So I did my homework on the school bus and after bed time on the sly. I finished the in order of class periods and between classes, during other classes.

Which made my study habits horrible for college. College was a new foul beast. There was a councilor my second year who suggested medication. I wish I listened. Instead I blew her off for years.

In my second to last final semester of college I contracted tendonitis in my right hand. My primary hand. Unfortunately I also had a very bitchy teacher who had a three absence policy no matter the reason. Pain and inability to take notes or difficulty completing assignments meant nothing. No excuses, no extensions, no exceptions.

Instead of focusing on my other necessary classes, my brain focused on my short coming and how I couldn't make it work put. As I result that semester I got 3 Fs, one D, and one B- out of pity.

It was the first time in 11 years I dropped the ball.

My self identity had been wrapped up in academic success. That summer it fractured. How I kept myself together for half a year I don't know. But that October, on an amended degree plan, my mask finally fell apart and my depression formed. It fused with my anxiety and combined I was crippled. I would stop mid step and stand in place. Day to day activity was impossible.

Don't even ask about my grades that semester.

The road to recovery has not been easy. It had a few trip ups. But I learned something important about myself.

I was not who everyone thought I was. Not even me. My chosen one complex made me a mask. It hid my identity from even me when I looked in the mirror.

My mask was Desi, a high function special education student who reached academic excellence and became a beacon for all students who needed special attention. She was going to be a teacher and give back to help children as she had been. Desi was soft spoken and buried her negative feelings and never confronted anyone. She followed expectations and dated boys-on occasion. Love would never work into her long term plans.

Desi wasn't real.

I am Desiree. I am gifted and talented. I let people know when I am upset. I enjoy writing and reading, I love to play video games and watch movies. I am madly in love with an amazing woman far too many states away and someday I want to make a life with her.

And I don't want to be a teacher. I don't know if I ever really did. It if it was a development of a false identify, the conception I had to be some kind of savior.

I don't have to live to inspire. My life can inspire without my aspiring too.

I just need to live my life as I feel is right. However that plays out.

How Not to Christmas Part I

How Not to Christmas

As I sit here regretting too many Christmas Cookies-

Excuse me. That sounded like an eating disorder. What I mean is in the cookies was high fructose corn syrup, a chemical made to replace sugar that has some not so great effects.

For the most part I have avoided it quite well.

I didn't realize it was in the home made cookies I devoured. Thus my digestive track is having a field day.

Anyway I...had time to reflect on Christmases past. And why so many of my memories are bitter sweet.

When I was really young it was nice. A Christmas Tree with a train under it. Giant 100 Acre wood Denizens shoved in the tree for me to find Christmas morning.

The change was gradual. After my mother's first accident, her mobility was limited by a back injury. Cleaning up the house became difficult. I was a dumb child. Dad was difficult with a 1950's sense of entitlement.

I remember three major components that made me resent the holiday.

1. The growing amount of mess and clutter all year long and Dad being shocked elves didn't magically clean up the living room after Thanksgiving. Thus he had to rearrange to get his titan christmas trees, and when we began to not be able to set up the train it became unbearable. Dad was very dramatic to the point Hamlet would tell him to tone it down.

2. Christmas Eve Dinner. My father's mother died when he was seventeen. My father's father, god rest his soul, remarried a woman fit for a grimm fairy tale. If she could have left my father in the forest to be eaten by an evil witch, she would have. At some point my father decided rather then visit Grandpa on Christmas day as we always had we would join the main Christmas Eve Dinner.

My grandfather's second wife had four sons from her first marriage. One was an overly masculine hunter jock. Another was just really a wash out. The third, our family favorite and my father's best friend, had alternate means of making a living. The fourth ran away to Australia, married a man, and they had twins with a Lesbian Couple and now feature an awesome family unit.

Sadly we never got to meet that son. Instead we had washout, hunter, and our favorite. There were five to six other kids just off my age and had no interest in me. My parents were equally isolated. And the evil step grand mother was constantly causing drama with our unit.

The drives home from those almost Siberian settings were very tense and frequently ended in a lot of yelling between my parents.

Kind of sleepy so tune in tomorrow for: Tree Wars.

Throughout the Theater My Scream Was Heard

Beyond that, I will say nothing of Episode VII except it did really well and stood on its own two feet. I think back to the prequels and think they weren't bad. Except they had such high standards to live up to. They also weren't great. They were good. Phantom Menace was a fun scifi romp. Jar Jar was annoying but his friend the honorable gun gan was cool. Qui Gon Jim. Pod Racing. Baby Obi Wan.

Episode 2...well I like to pretend it was the last. Again it expanded. Some of the continuity raised questions. In others is truly showed us how Anakin began to fall. His mothers death, his conflicted feelings for Padmae. And tbh the Jedi Council was fun to meet. And CGI Yoda fight. RIP Christopher Lee.

Episode 3...I watched once and vowed never to again. It was decently done but my soul died when Anakin and the Padawans.

Also major questions about Anakin not realizing his wife delivered twins. And that he hadn't killed her. And why did he think she was going to die exactly?

Now. No argument. The original trilogy from the 70's-80's was fars superior.

The prequels weren't bad though.

The problem to be honest is special effects. About late 90's-Mid 2000's, and to some extent still going on, Hollywood began to focus on what they could do. The acting and use of effects became lazy and seconded to "Weee look what I can do with cgi and crap".

Don't get me wrong I love CGI. As a fantasy geek Dany's Dragons in Game of Thrones and Smaug are fantastic.

But in the hey day of the original Star Wars trilogy, there was no CGI. They had to use what they had to its best extent. The original cuts before CGI and new scenes were shoved in are the best.

Because of brilliant acting and effects that while slightly dated are still effective.

Doubt me?

Princess Bride. Epic Fantasy Classic. Limited effects. Master piece.

Movies in the 70's and 80's had to be better. Hollywood was still getting popular. Movies needed to depend far more on writing and acting.

By Episode One...Lucas got lazy. It was more about the almost cartoonish droids. The ridiculus over the top CGI characters introduced. Writing and acting was not the focus.

Among its contempary movies, the prequel series of Star Wars faired well. They were fun. Well. I and II were. And III bridges the two universes we know fairly well.

And my spoiler free review of Episode VII is as follows:

Its bloody brilliant. Its quite possibly the beginning of a new Saga. The focus was on the writing and acting and a Valentine to fans of the original series. There were some excellent effects, but CGI was used sparingly compared to animontronics and the like.

Again I will not compare it to Episodes IV-VI. Not this time because its not fair. But because it is not trying to emulate. It is telling a new story about new characters in a new universe. I applaud and hope VIII is even half as good.

VII

DUN DUN

DUN DUN DUN

STAR WARS

So in about an hour my mom and I will be watching Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens. The amount of Geekery in the Burger King pleases me. More importantly the cross generation Geekery.

Ah fond memories of first watching. Then the bitter memories of watching the DVD cuts. The differences in Return of the Jedi were most notacable. Most unnecessary in New Hope.

Han Solo. My first fictional love.

Han and Leia. My first otp since long before I knew the term.

Leia. All around bamf.

Side note: If Dad can recover the Star Wars VHS I have directed him to bring them to me. I would digitize and post online.

Now half an hour to the movie.  Super excited. Will probably spam my gf with ideas for our Scifi Mishmash role play.

It has been suggested to me I start a movie review blog again. Maybe I will. Maybe I will ride the wave of Force Awakens.

Also.

Han shot first.

Just Another Day At Bag End

Today hasn't been bad. I mean I intended to hide in my room and clean like I really need to do. But then we were told we had Bag End to ourselves.

...Side Note. I love my mom. But sometimes its not so much I need alone time as I need to not leave my room time.

Anyway. Cleaned up some Tumblr RP accounts. Played a bit. Which was fun. Goofed on Shamchat.

Finally have started Jessica Jones! My big hold up was I wanted to finish Daredevil first. But thats heavier and while I enjoy it-I think Jones will be gone way faster.

The Life and Death of Jon Snow

Today I am talking about a Song of Ice and Fire. This is my theory about Jon Snow's birth. My theory about his death will wait  Or be two lines down 
SPOILERS BELOW

ALL THE STARKS IN THE BOOKS ARE WARGS WITH TELEPATHIC LINKS TO ANIMALS. Mostly their wolves. Arya dreams of Nymeria. Bran with Summer and sometimes Hodor. Robb and Greywind. It was not just barbaric how the Wolfs head was sewn to Robb's shoulder, it was symbolic. Not to mention with Greywind dead, Robb couldn't jump in his body.

Wait what? Thats right. Again, overlooked in the show. There is a Wildling Skin Changer (Warg) in the books. He is killed much earlier-but the other Wildlings repeatedly make reference to him still existing in the form of a bird he would sometimes hop into in order to spy on the Nights Watch.

All of which comes up in Jon Snow's chapters.

Now. What is John Snow's dire wolf called?
Ghost.

Jon Snow's human form is probably toast. But his spirit may continue.

(Book. Not show. Who the fuck knows with the show anymore).

Now that I have dealt with my theory on Jon's death, lets talk about his birth.

The leading theory is his father is Rheagar Targaryean and his mother is Lyanna. She died because of child birth and he needed a third Dragon. From their Ned took his nephew in as his son to hide the truth.

Literally every book in the series is laiden with not subtle hints about this.

Which is why I reject it.

Martin once said the reason Ned and Robb had to die was because them winning was predictable. Robb avenging his father was predictable.

So if the entire fandom has predicted  that Lyanna and Rhaegar are the parents.

They aren't.

That said. My theory stems from a different theory.

"What if Daenerys Targaryean and Jon Snow are twins?"
Well. They are the same age. The books identifies their ages separately but they are the same.

Then comes parentage.
Fortunately I obsess about the time period in which the Late Mad King Aerys was overthrown.

Somewhere before, there was a tournament. Lyanna was given the crown of blue roses and beauty by Prince Rhaegar.

Around this time Jamie recalls overhearing King Aerys brutally beating Queen Rhaella in their Bedchambers. That night she leaves and is never seen in Westeros again.

King Aerys demanda the lives of Eddard Stark and Robert Baratheon, ward of Winterfell.

Eddard's father and oldest brother go and attempt to reason with the king. They are killed brutally. Between this and Lyanna's assumed "Kidnapping" by Rhaegar with both vanishing, the revolution against Aerys begins.

In place of his elder brother, Eddard Stark marries Caitlyn Tully. Robb Stark is conceived.

Daenerys Stormborn is born.

Jon Snow is born, circumstances unknown, and brought back to Winterfell by Ned who declares him his bastard.

Lyanna Stark dies, cause disputed.

Thus concludes relevant factoids.

Notable: Both Daenerys and Jon are resistant to burning and heal faster. Dany's presentation is very dramatic, standing in a burning pyre to hatch eggs. Jon on the other hand has his hand catch fire while fighting a wight-and the burn heals unusually fast.

My Proposal: Jon and Daenerys are twins. And they are the children of a Stark and a Targaryean.

Queen Rhaella and Eddard Stark.

Before you shoot me down remember we never see Ned as a young man. Only as a stoic man, affected by loss. He has always been Robert Baratheon's best friend.

What if one of the things that made Ned so stern is guilt?

What if in his youth he comforted a heavy hearted but beautiful queen?

What if when she became pregnant with children that could not possibly belong to Aerys, the Mad King was angered?

What if for that reason Rhaella took her younger son and fled from her brother-husband, fearing for her children?

What if Aerys suspected who of two youths who would have been around Rhaella at the right time?

What if both Baratheons and Starks both have the same dark curly hair?

What if because of his laying with the queen, Ned's father and brother both died?

What if Rhaegar and Lyanna vanished to help Queen Rhaella escape, and hide the children?

What if the child who could pass as a Stark was brought back by his Aunt?

What if part of the reason Viserys was so resentful toward his sister was because he knew to some extend she was at the root of his fathers fall?

What if the reason Jon's mother's identity is hidden to protect him?

What if, beyond honor, Eddard Stark has a more personal reason for wanting Robert Baratheon to leave Daenerys Targaryean unharmed, unbothered, and untouched?

What if the reason his wife does not know the truth of Jon's mother is shame and guilt, and he hides it from his best friend out of fear?

What if Jon Snow and Daenerys Targaryean are in fact Jon Blackfyre and Daenerys Snow?

Short Updated

This post as going to be long and rambling theories about Jon Snow.

SADLY the Blogger App ate that post and I am too tired to fiddle after volunteering for another round trip after an overnight.

Not So Patient Zero

Rejoice! I am not in a hopeless state of mind. I just suck at being an adult. That is to say as a result of trying to decimate my cold I accidentally over uses my cold meds. Alkaseltzer Cold and Flu requires no additional support. It is all in one!

And going overboard with the meds did NOT mix well with my anti anxiety meds. There is hope! The world is glum but I am content. I have my little corner. I have videogames and fandoms and friends and loved one.

And Star Wars is happening Thursday if Mom and I can still get tickets! After therapy!

Dad is a dunce but this is not news.

That said today is another overnight and I am kind of wiped. Good night all!

I Am Patient Zero

Before I stopped talking to him, Peter Pan was a decent person. He also had a lot of knowledge about being a leader.

For instance I used to work at a fast food gas station hybrid. It was understaffed. My manager had this habit of yelling at us for not being in multiple places at once, IE not manning the register at meal rushes while we stocked the displays across the store-or visa versa.

As a result of sed manager that particular location went through Employees like  candy. They always had new staff, buf rarely kept the old. Thus, the store never has the staff it needs.

Peter Pan called this bad leader ship.

(Side note: since becoming a horrible person unleashed  by his siren, Pan's lost boys were left unattended to crash a boat into a car).

Well Chris Columbus is a shotty leader.

1. He was supposed to give me my second enployee eval at the beginning of October or end of September. Instead he went on holiday at the safari for a month and chose to blame me for still being a trainee.

2. He blames his employees and threatens them with unemployment if they are out sick more often then he likes.

Side note: I have called out because I had been up late at the er the night before, a virus, a flu, and the worst cramps, high flow, and Diarrhea period I had ever experienced. He never let me fully explain and heart "period" before cutting me off. Reminder I am in food service. I assume Diarrhea is a bad thing there.

Also I have called in four times since JULY. It is now December. The fact is they all happened during flu season. But the two months without

3. Please explain why we can't get tips. You pay us enough is not enough of a reason to fire someone over it.

4. Because of the big man's insistance I need to be more dependable, I am now patient zero. My symtpoms include a fever, possibly an ear infection, congestion so bad it is difficult to breath, my nose blown raw with no signs of ebbing, light headedness, dizzyness, and stomach ache.

I contracted it on the eight. Four days later I'd wager this is maybe the peek or center of the sicknenss. Eight days of virus that will now circulate among customers and my co-workers-just in time for Christmas. Well done, C.C.

Wake up, America

Found myself wondering what the point was yesterday. Not alone it turns out. I read a poll where almost half of college graduates don't believe in the American Dream.

Now, while the image itself is flawed, the gist of the American Dream was to get a degree, obtain a career, and become self sufficient. Enough to have a place you call your own and kids if you want them.

24. Female. Single. College graduate. Best job in my friend circle. I still make less then 20k a year.

It forces me into less then optimal housing situations. To eat miserable because having a car disqualifies from wellfare and I have no where to prep it anyway.

One of my co workers was fired. Because she was taking tips on the sly. No, we are not supposed to take tips because they pay us between 9 and 13 an hour. Which is some of the best pay around-but I still have to live off less then 20k a year.

Some of my co workers do tips on the sly. I don't because becoming unemployed terrifies me. But I get why. Customers are constantly offering us tips. Its a lot of temptation.

Now I know among those will be secret shoppers-spies.

And what do we have instead of tips? A donation box. That the company gets to write off on their taxes.

To say I am pissed is an understatement.

Do you know how much lifting national minimum wage to 15 dollars an hour, a living wage, would do?

If you have 40 hours a week, four weeks a month, 12 months a year, at 15 dollars an hour-

You still make less then 30 k.

That has to cover food, rent, commute costs, utilities, and medical expenses. And more.

Oh and Thats before taxes.

I am a college graduate. I shouldn't have to consider becoming a Dominatrix for a stable middle class income.

From the Cuddle Cocoon

Good News: I have improved.
Bad News: I still feel like hell.
Worst News: I have work for the  next four days. Two overnights.

Not much else to say. Been in bed most of the day. My car is back again. I need to ration out my meds. And my bills. And I need to call the one Doctor's office and tell them they will get paid.

With Moms help I got my ticket to see my Sweetie in February. Our six month and Valentines day. Which is awesome because if I am still working where I am-a grim reality of the current economic crisis-I can't take days off in the summer.

[Something my father has shoved on me like its my fault].

I've indicated my nervousness  about teaching on this Blog before. Namely I don't want to. I have still been applying left and right. Because I would love a salary job. Or hell, a full time job with regular hours.

I'm beginning to wish Walking Dead (I finally started Season 2 on my phone) would happen. Or an alien invasion.

If every day was about survival I wouldn't need eacapea or coping methods to deal with how bleak and miserable existence is.

Thats why I'll go to Texas someday. It will be different. See, day to day life would still be kind of bleak. A useless BA degree under my belt. A screwed to hell job market.

But at least someone I love more then life itself will be there for me.

I will hit the same problems wherever I go. Overpriced housing. Miserable job market. Questionable politics.

I can't afford to live in any of the Blue States.

But at least in that Red State I can find sanctuary.

I just want a steady job thag pays enough I don't freak out over car repairs. A house over my head. To be able to use the kitchen to make nutritious meals.

Isn't that the whole purpose of getting my stupid education? Not to cram my life in 100 square feet, if, gaining weight because my options are junk food or starve, and go to a job I like only as a posed to other available jobs?

Burrito Mode, Activate!

Good News: I have tomorrow off

Bad News: I am literally scheduling intervals on my calendar for burrito mode and meds.

I have gotten to the level of sick where breathing is interesting. My nose is there so I don't get mixed up with Voldemort and otherwise decor only. My throat is getting muckus.

Which means stopping at Rite Aid or something on the way home for Mucinex. The red one. Need to clear my passages. Might grab some five ounce cups for the alkaseltzer. Hope the car noise is resolved because more meds are in the back seat.

Nnngh I need to fight off sleep and weary now. No creative writing today. Just reading, tablets, and smart phone.

Maybe I'll continue my trip down 50 Shades of What the Fuck...been a while and SteeleNoMore has been inactive a while.

For those of you who didn't know, SteeleNoMore is my take on an AU Ana Steele from 50 Shades who bolted away from her abuser and because of Grey's wealth and influence she had to go under a new alias and abandon all old ties. Ophelia Capulet is now a waitress suffering PTSD. Its obviously an anti 50 Shades manifesto of sorts, where I cite quotes from the text with sarcastic comments to highlight the absurdity. Let me tell you nothing unites people across fandom lines like mutual hate.

...so sleepy...

Call Me Enjoras....wait no

Look Out, Evil Kinevil

Why is it whenever we suggest gun reform, gun advocates assume that means we are taking all the guns? Can we examine the word reform?

Re-form.

Form again. Form over.

Not remove.

It means to change something for the better. And US gun laws and societal outlook are messed up.

They need to be improved. Why can't we all agree the current policies don't work?

Meanwhile in my world. Can I have Biblia lr Snob back? Escaped an overnight shift yesterday with a co worker from the Avalon Ferry route. To say I'm less then keen about her is an understatement. You know when there's a person that whenever they speak you want to stab them?

Yeah. That.

Also our company is reminding us of their no tips policy. We'd resent it less if they didn't give what should be our tips to charity for a tax break. Stupid corporate America.

My inner revolutionary has been sparked. Fire and blood. This ends with tips be allowed, being fired, or zilch. I require index cards.

Today's co worker is an adorable cinnamon bun who is super helpful. Slow day. I appreciate that. Her mom has a house on Neverland so she shall stay there and I will have the condo to myself. Which is cool even if I only sleep and text my sweetie.

I'm off to reappropiate a Chrismas Carol for Solstice. Only fair since Christmas was an appropiated Solstice.

Putting Along

Am alive and worn out. Keg sprayed beer in my hair. Not fun. Had help from a co worker from the Avalon run. Bossy. Did not know our route. Caused issues. Rich people suck. I worry for Frodo.

Keeping it brief tonight because TIRED

Divided We Fall

I have before talked about religion. I am a Wiccan. But I firmly believe freedom of Religion means any Religion.

And despite Cardinal Carlin's speech ala Dogma, I do hold the Catholic and Christian Religions responsible for Mistakes of the past.

Especially since Christians tend to hold the entire religion of Islam responsible for the actions of the extremist few.

After all the Christian factions have extremist examples who've killed in the name of their religion. As does Judeasm.

So for better understanding and debating I ordered materials from the library on Islam and the Koran for research. Because as a sadly ignorant friend put it "I don't have time to read the language of the goat fuckers". It is because of him I am starting this project.

In the entire Library system there is a disturbing lack of material on Islam compared to Christianity. Given they have the 2nd most amount of followers of all religion (Christianity is 31% across the globe, Islam is 23%.)

http://www.pewforum.org/2012/12/18/global-religious-landscape-exec/

More disturbing: I am terrified of leaving a library with a pile of books on the Koran. Why? Because in our current society in the US I am certain this blog entry alone will get me on some kind of Watch list. Since 9/11 the nation has become hateful and intolerant of Muslims over the actions of a select few who were really messed up in the head. They have terrorized the religion and certain presidential candidates of suggested they wear idebtifying markers-much like Hitler's yellow stars for the Jewish people.

Talks of building a mosque in New York City were screeched at for six years because it was found to be "too close to Ground Zero". I was saddened to read while researching it that what had been hoped to turn into a Religious Community Center has instead been turned into more overpriced NYC apartments. This is basically equivalent to "Sorry you can't build a church and sunday school here we are going to build a luxury resort and hotel instead".

http://www.theawl.com/2015/10/the-sad-true-story-of-the-ground-zero-mosque

Mind you pre 9/11 the greatest terror attack we had ever faced was domestic. The Oklahoma City Capital attack, which ended in over 160 deaths and injuring over 650 others, not to speak of the buildings and car damages ranging a 16 block radius.

The men responsible were Fundamentalist Christians who did not like recent events.

Yet if you go to google Maps there are plenty of churchs in proximity. Why?

Because we understand that the act of terror was the byproduct of two men who happened to be Christian, not caused because they were.

So why can't we appreciate the same of Muslims and Islam?

Racism. Fear. Ignorance.

I can deal with these. Education can combat these.

Its those who refuse to listen to anything outside their own world view that I fear. They are the Timothy McVays and Osama Bin Ladens of the future.

Not the majority of any religion faction.

(Hell have you looked at Satanism? Not even they condone Terrorism).

Counter Argument to "But the Koran says they can kill non believers"

So does the Bible.

As Jesus put it, let he who is without sin cast the first stone.

Thus if we are blaming entire religions, Christians may not.

"You aren't a patriot you terrorist sympathizer!"

Three of my four grandparents served in World War II. My grandmother had connections to a four star general. Her brother and her father both served. My father's cousins served.

And oh yeah, my father was a first responder to 9/11.

He doesn't like it when anyone calls him that, because he wasn't a cop or a fireman.

He was a member of the EPA out of Edison, New Jersey. He and his team of chemists were at Ground Zero as of 9/12 for months. They tested the air and rubble and smoke for what chemicals had been released with the towers' collapse. This was done for the well being of those who had been and continued to be exposed to those compounds.

Even at 10 I firmly believed if my father left the next day for Ground Zero NYC i would lose him. No, I did not think the terrorists would attack again. But I was right. My father still lives, technically

But when it was done, what came home was a shell of a man. He became apathetic, because how else could he deal with what he had been reminded of every day for months? He was in many ways a ghost. His apathy was one of the major factors that tore my family apart and keeps us apart to this day. He was never perfect, and there were issues even then-but he tried on occasion. When I was seven my parents memorized the first 151 pokemon, in order, so they could talk to me.

When I was 14 and suggested Dad and I resume our old tradition of Sunday Funnies with Manga. He wouldn't consider it. He drifted and while I still have him in a crisis, he lost much of his spirit then.

Dear America. We are at a precipice. We are in many ways akin to Germany after the first World War. Our nation is in debt with no idea how to pay it. We are afraid. And we are looking for someone to blame.

Do not let us become the Germany of World War II. Hell, don't let us become the USA of World War II. While not as bad as Concentration Camps, the Japanese Internment Camps are a blemish on our nation's history from when we turned on our own people.

Islam does not equal Terrorism. But many have it in their heads that it does. The wrong google search can get you locked away for curiousity.

Which is why while I am ordering materials on Islam, I am also ordering materials on Christianity to compare and contrast. And so no one calls national security to pick me up on the way home. (The locals are mostly almost all white right wingers).

Our founding fathers made this country on the premises of freedom of religion. They had seen England torn apart time and time again-not even by what god you believed in, but how you worshipped.

We like to say United we Stand a lot. The other side of that coin is Divided We Fall.

And we are divided.

"Love thy neighbor."-A Certain Middle Eastern Prophet Who Gave Food to the Hungry, Healed the Sick, and Promoted Life Skill Training

Monsters and Corpses

Guns. They are tools for ending life.

All too frequent in the US, they have ended human lives. Because the US is handling guns wrong. Not the banning methods of the UK that have knocked the percentage of homicides caused by guns to 10% (vs US's 60%).*

Nor the intrinsic self responsibility by the Swiss who in their history have only had one mass shooting** (defined as any incident where four or more people were injured or killed because of a gun, compared to the US's 353 mass shootings in 2015 so far)*.

In terms of personal safety from muggers or home intruders, semi-automatic and automatic guns are unnecessary.

In terms of fighting back the US government if it turns on its people, they are as efficient as hiding under your blanket from a theoretical monster in your closet.

In otherwords, useless against an enemy that may never appear anyway.

Lets say theoretically though.

I will cite the fictional Dystopia of Hunger Games-the Capital vs the 12 (once 13) districts.

Once a great revolution was fought by the Districts.

Then the Capital blasted an entire District off the map with an air raid and bombs.

During the Second Revolution of Panem they did it again.

We have that technology now. If an armed revolution formed equipped with only guns, the government officials would never get close enough to them for bullets to mean a damn thing.

Nor would they send armed soldiers and expect them to turn on their friends and family.

If the US government turned on its people, it would not give them a fighting chance like that.

Not when drones, nuclear bombs, and chemical warfare exists.

Which means the 300 million or so guns in the US, nearly one for every man woman and child (in the hands of a third of a population) do little to nothing for our protection.*

Instead in the absence of legal regulation and social responsibility, guns turn men into monsters and children into corpses.

Sources:

*

http://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-34996604

**

http://world.time.com/2012/12/20/the-swiss-difference-a-gun-culture-that-works/

Benny

Still Alive! The first trip to Neverland was swamped. I have never gone through this much change. The trip back is slower. Tomorrow is Saturday. It has been implied there is a lull. Tomorrow's entry is going to get political-guns and gun control. Tonight I am exhausted.

eut Neverland. Mom refers to the region we live, what I call England on this Blog, as where the One Percent live.

Neverland is where the one percent of the one percent live. For instance anyone in retail or cash handling jobs can tell you that for bills larger then twenties you have to mark them with a counterfiet detector pen. Most customers don't notice. Today?

Me: [does a line on the edge of the hundred to watch color]

Man: Why do people always do that to hundreds?

That he has seen enough hundreds to notice disturbs me.

Let it Gooo

So today has been interesting. I woke up early and drove to see Chris Columbus. Note: My car is fixed! Yaaaay!

Anyway. Dependability was discussed.

Bad News: I am now part time

Good News: This does not affect my hours only my benefits. Like the insurance I hate. Also I get a pay bump of 1.25 an hour.

This combined with the 50 dollars given back for a clean drug test began a decent day. Zipped by Walmart, got on my Solstice Cheer. Happy Holidays One and All, whatever they may be. Mama got me a ting silver tinsel tree that I have been decorating.

Note: When buying bandeau bras always go two sizes up. Also buy guy pants. Sizes are more consistent and way bigger pockets. And better made.

That said. Saw the Therapist yesterday. The nurse practitioner today. Same building. They both came up wierdly....

Blank. Not bad. Not good. Just blank. I've got odd vibes. Going back to them both at least once. See if when its not intake it goes better.

Feeling kind of blessed to be honest. With everything else. Still hunting for a place to call home. Back to work tomorrow, am told the Neverland Stroll is brutal. So posts may be a bit briefer.

Mom and I are considering Chinese for dinner. Then home to clean up cookies an attempt Mission 29 of Phantom Pain without Quiet.

...after Frozen. Because Mom and I heard Let it Go at the store and Sang Along.

Adventures in Therapy

10

minutes till appointment. I am definitely going to ask if the next appointment can be January. Then I will be covered by superior health insurance.

The complex is...

I had to take a key to open the bathroom. Imagine my surprise when there were multiple stalls. Which means like much of this accursed Main land city, its to keep out the Homeless in need of shelter.

Totally the image of compassion I want from my new therapy building.

Not liking the vibe. At all. Hope the therapist is better.

If she says one word about my online relations lacking reality I am out the door.

Crossed Lines

So I'm supposed to see Chris Columbus tomorrow for our meeting about dependabillity. That's how I had it copied into my Calendar. This was because I had to check my date book for an appointment I didn't have yet. Technically I am getting that appointment today and probably rescheduling.

At about 9:19 the head honcho called and revealed he'd been expecting me today. Now I just feel a cluster of insecurity. We shifted, and while he didn't sound angry I'm just...ugh.

Plus side I see my new therapist today. Hopefully that won't cost me an arm and a leg.

My Future, My Choices

Dear Mom,

Dear Dad,

I don't know if you will ever either see this. But as the story about Colleen Ritzer plays again at work I know I have to get it out.

When I was  a bright eyed girl of 19 I decided I wanted to teach. All I could think of was how my good and great teachers had helped her me and I wanted to do the same.

Then Sandy Hook happened. You may recall I wound up with secondary trauma. I knew no one, but because I'd been at a school observing that day and the news coverage I had trouble functioning.

I gathered myself. Healed. Went back. Learned all about how our current educational modules are outdated. But never the skills I would need.

Not until my penultimate semester. When it was too late to change directions. Unit plans are terrifying. Lesson Plans aren't too bad. But unifying unit plans with D.O.E. standards makes my head spin.

And now the court case for the murder of Colleen Ritzer is on the news almost daily. She was my peer. Attended my university. Took the same classes for education. Was one of the best teachers you could ask for.

And staying behind after school to help a student she was rewarded with a brutal murder.

There was another shooting in Roxbury yesterday. One student was shot but still.

Mom, Dad, I know I have this degree and credentials to teach. But I can't. My head spins and my stomach turns. I don't have a single unit plan on my computer. And I'm scared.

I'm too shaken up. I know the probability that the school I teach at would be the location of a violent crime is unlikely. It doesn't help.

Not knowing if I'd been a year older or better adjusted in my degree transfer I could have been posted in Danvers for student teaching.

I'll find work. Hell its not glamorous but I am working. I'll apply for other school positions. Assistant of sorts. But I don't think teaching is in my future. I know that's hard to accept and I am sorry it took so long to figure it out.

Mom, I know how much a lack of 3 college credits has affected you in finding a job. My degree isn't helping much. Most degrees don't these days. Thats why I'm looking for scholarships in Engineering.

I'm talented with math and science. I just never looked into it far. At 19 career options was not on my mind.

Which leads into Texas.

I'm not worried about not being able to teach there. Its not in my cards. Heh, cards. I think I'll do a reading when I'm done writing this.

No, we have no family in Texas. Dad is considering Virginia, and honestly he's a better support from afar. Sorry Dad.

Mom. I hope you wind up in Denver. You know why.

But I can't pick where I live to be close to a parent. Dad did that. And while I love Grandpa still, that involvement destroyed my parents' marriage. It was constantly a battle for Dad. It was his father over his wife. His father's wife over his wife. It was impossible to make choices like confront his father to keep his family.

Which is why I cannot make that same mistake.

Mom, I know we are closer. And I do not begrudge you time spent together. But my last move-that wound up here in the Hell House-was to be near you. And that is why I haven't bolted. I can't leave you in this mess. And I won't leave suddenly either.

I plan to visit Texas to see my sweetie in February. You know this. I will get a feel for her area then.

But I have done my homework.

Yes. Texas is a red state. For now. It is also huge and diverse. It has a multitude of regions. Yes, work is hard to find. But thats true everywhere these days. Yes, there are Bigots and Racists-but the current locale has those a plenty.

However my own research reveals Texas is slowly changing. Because of its costs young people like me are going there to make lives. There are regions. Texas is a nation in a nation. We don't judge the US for Florida or California or Rhode Island.

I'm going to start getting a newsletter. I'm not leaving tomorrow. Or the day after. In the unlikely event of a full ride scholarship to the Uni of Austin, maybe September. Its not likely.

Mom, I will not strand you. I promised you 2 years. You will get it. Maybe longer. But I need to make my life for me. Maybe I will make mistakes. But the biggest would be not making my own choices.

Texas is not ideal. But I can't afford to move anywhere that is. And Texas has someone I love. She has a huge supportive family.

Friends? I'm a child of the internet age. All my friends are reached from the web and scattered across the country. I'm okay with this. It makes travel easier.

Rest assured I will not leap before I look. Should I make this move in a year or two, I will make hella sure I can take care of myself. If not a full ride, a full time job.

It is my future. I promise to learn from your mistakes. And maybe I'll make my own. But thats for me to find out.

Wicca and Writing

As my mother texted me mere hours ago,

"Free at last free at last Lord God Almighty free at last!"

My father has finally gone away. With a little luck he will buy a property in Virginia and be even further away.

Mama has gotten me an early Solstice present: one of the new Amazon tablets I got her for her birthday xD Should come in a few days.

I see Christopher Columbus on Thursday morning. My new therapist on Wednesday. Waiting for my wheels to be restored.

Tomorrow is just off. I shall write. I find myself able to outline again already.

I need to pick up a new journal at Barnes and Noble. As it will be after work someone shall inevitably ask me for help. I shall send them in a random direction. Correcting them actually gets them annoyed. Inevitably if I leave work and go to any store while wearing my work polo shirt and khakis, people assume I work there. Note my polo is grey. These places include Walmart where the uniform is bright blue and places like Staples or Target where the uniform is bright red. Done playing nice.

So random thing about me. I identify as Wiccan. And one of my pet peeves is when male witches are called Warlocks.

I blame Hollywood and the BBC.

(also wtf Merlin is supposed to be a Wizard)

Charmed, Sabrina the Teenage Witch, Harry Potter-all of these media items have used Warlock interchangably with male witch.

Warlock refers back to the European Witch Hunts. Thousands, possibly tens of thousands, were killed. Warlock was a term coined for those who revealed the locations of others to try to save their own skin-or Oath Breakers.

To clarify. Men can be witches. Women can be Warlocks. In modern Wicca it refers to one who has broken one of the tenants such as Harm None.

In other words its more like Sinner. But a lot more severe.

Rant concluded.

Damn it Dad V

Invasion on the Introverts

Note: for this blog my straight soul brother is now Frodo.

Dear Dad,

I love you. Thank you for assisting with helping Mom and I find a new place to live. Thank you for helping me with my car repairs and my student loans.

But you are being a horrid guest.

Frodo has gone above and beyond in letting you-a man he has no relation to-stay in his home. Not on the sofa or a futon. A real bed and a room at no cost

He did this as a favor to Mom and I. So we could have a family thanksgiving.

You thanked him by invading for a week.

Guests and fish stink after three days.

Longer can happen. If mutually agreed on by host on hosted.

Frodo probably figured around this.

Mom thought Tuesday to to Saturday.

I figured Tuesday to Friday.

You decided Monday to Monday without telling anyone. That makes you rude. And unwanted company.

Me? My thoughts and feelings are irrelevant. I am not the one housing you. Any goodwill with Mom and I acquired is spent.

Frodo and I are something called

Social Introverts. This means we recharge with alone time. We like company fine, on our own terms.

I know his pain because you are not the kind of guest who self entertains well. I am less introverted then he, which means I function well enough despite your presence preventing me going into my room and playing one player video games that may not be fun to watch.

So far.

You have made yourself at home in his home. It is not your home. Frodo is polite enough he has not chased you out with Sting.

I believe he should have.

You see, Mom and I still live in the Hell House. By invading Bagend down the hill, you have made Frodo less then hospitable. We depend on his goodwill for life. If we want to cook, eat healthy, clean laundry, or use wifi it is better if Frodo not resent us.

Frodo is a social introvert and you did not drag him off for adventure. You just invaded. Thus he has not had time to recharge. You don't just keep to your own room. You interupt his day to day life. You are at odds with his dog. Your presence causes upset in his life.

Frodo has asked my mother and I to go easy on the house for the next week or so because of your invasion. I do not begrudge him this.

I begrudge you, Dad.

I have two rather full laundry baskets that will only get fuller.

Fortunately this is a week of back to back overnight shifts so I will not need the refuge as much. That said my uniform is among the things that could use cleaned.

I know you are considering Christmas. I don't know how. I will not know my schedule till the Saturday before it. You will not be welcome down the hill as a guest in Bag End. I certainly won't be setting up an office there.

So thank you for the ways you are helping. But know your visit cost us. It cost Mom and I. It cost Frodo. And I don't just speak of financial. I speak of God damn time and energy.

PS: This letter does not precursor a silent treatment. I'm just about to enter a busy week. If I send this.

A Brand New Day

So one of my other co workers-I shall call her Spazz-was late today.

20 minutes past her original 15 minute late.

On one hand she did have issues. Big family ones. On the other hand she should should have called in.

(I call he Spazz because of other past experiences. She was banished to the landside cafe over the summer because of customer complaints. When I am cutting bagels and still readying them for the customer she feels the need to clean up the crumbs I would have gotten in five seconds. Shes unnecessarily bossy. And shr taught me a way unsanitary method to mix the iced coffee)

I feel more confident Chris Columbus is not going to fire me. I also feel a pang of sympathy. He had to reschedule because of family crisis, and its not going well. I have to call him back later to schedule our meeting.

Coming Up: Talking points to lecture Dad.

Damn it Dad IV

Mom tried to talk to Dad about how my soul brother was uncomfortable with him staying so long. Until Monday.

Soul brother is housing him with a real bed. No cost. Even though the Murphy Dog hates him.

Dad's response? Too bad.

This isn't him asking you to stay, Dad. This is you literally going from visitor to home invader. The cops could be called on you if Soul Brother was so inclined.

Also you are burning bridges for a return visit. Matt will never house you again. Mom and I will be forever apologizing for your invasion.

I have a date on Sunday. Digital. I now have to go the Pale Orc cafe and use their wifi because my soul brother needs less people around. Not more.

Plotting out visit to my sweetie for our six month! Looks doable. Depending how much Dad is covering for my car damages.

I also need to call the partial program for Behavior Health I attended and get addresses.

I should probably call Chris Columbus once I get the new schedule. Our meeting about dependability and my orientation got postponed. By him. Making me take it way less serious to be honest.

Or its all an evil plan to make sure I didn't leave before the Holidays.

Damn it Dad Part III

Let the public if anonymous record clarify older soul brother was pretty busy last night. We got wind of light bondage, a spatula, and and a frozen popsicle. It went on for three hours. He and his girlfriend have stamina.

I have never been so happy to go to work. Dad needs to not be here anymore. Mom and I need to go back to our old lives. Soul brother wants his house sans Dad. Which I do not blame him.

I'm sorry Dad does not have a life right now. But that does not mean he gets to butt into mine. He has to go away now.

Not Monday. He wants to stay till Monday. I have never been so happy to have 12 hour shifts.

Special Note: He was only supposed to be here Tuesday til Saturday. Somehow that became Monday to Monday.

Unorthodox Feast

So as you may have gathered my dad is visiting for Thanksgiving. Because of my work schedule we had our Thanksgiving feast today. Me, Mom, Dad, soul brothers, older soul brother's new girl friend. I also ship that. A lot.

I am also carb and contact drunk.

Took Dad to Avalon. Miss my sweetie super bad.

I think I'm going to marry her someday. I don't care if I have to runaway to another state and my parents don't approve.  Of the state I mean.

The fact is I don't really want to teach that much anymore. I figured it out in the  last semester when they finally went over job skills and it was too late to change anything.

I want to get an Engineering Degree. So happens theres several schools for it in my sweethearts home vicinity. So many jobs too.

Sounds like Murphy Dog and Dad are at odds again.
I think my soul brother is getting laid. The straight one. His little brother, my parents, and myself are in hysterics joking about it.

...I did not need to know littlest brother has been in a three some.

Happy Ritual Sacrifice Everyone.

I am thankful for my job, my love, my mom, and my extended patch work family.

Damn it Dad, Part II

I'm halfway set to run back up the hill and play Metal Gear Solid. I'm supposed to be in the other house entertaining but I am no longer so inclined.

I drove up on the curb and lost two tires. Why? Because Dad was being a dumbass and distracted the fuck out of me. And he wouldn't drop it. Fortunately he has promised to pay for the bill. Thank god because I just do not have much right now.

So the puppy dog Murphy. He has a past. He was abused before he was adopted by his current family. Which means he has various signals, because he has PTSD.  For instance, if he begins growling, you back off and give him space. Not keep trying to pet him.

If a person starts to curse at you or hiss, you don't keep bothering them.

So yes. The dog nipped at him.

Again. Its the Dog's house. Murphy lives here. Dad is a stranger to him.

So Dad's threat that if the dog bites him he leaves?

Not so much a threat.

In other news I think I might have a binge eating disorder. Great thing to find out before Thanksgiving.

Damn it Dad

Dad has been here less then 24 hours and the Nostalgia of him being here is already gone. He has insulted the Murphy dog repeatedly even though he is the visitor and Murphy is the resident.

His insistence on driving his car everywhere even though mine is perfectly fine? No one else can drive it. I can't and Mom can but he won't let her.

One: last night he insisted he could drive after two beers. Once upon a time this was true. Now he is old and is metabolism is shot.

On the way out of the Parking Lot he hit another car. Reared it. No damage but still. Not great.

This morning? Mom offered to drive me to work. Great we've been doing that.

Wait a sec why is its Dads Batmobile Celica waiting for me? I have to squeeze in the back and that takes extra time. Oh great he needs gas. My car has gas. Why did he have to come I usually use this time to talk to Mom. Now I may be late.

Oh and he keeps ignoring what I say from the back seat. I wonder why I hate being in the back seat.

I thought about going back to Jersey and living with him? How dilluded was I?

Biblia the Bigot

Ah yes. First shift. With the bigot who supports Trump. I shall call her Biblia because she thinks ao high of herself We had a lengthy argument about how I thought her believing we should monitor religious factions by what they wear is wrong. Apparently she thinks the Jews were asking for the Holocast. Given I have Jewish, Polish, and Chek background-as well as being Bisexual with Learning Disabilities, I began to aggressively debate the point.

She dropped the topic with a "Well Israel."

Israel is literally the most extreme form of Judaesim. And while I don't support it, I know how it came to be. People like Biblia.

For all of history, the Jews have been blamed for tragedies. If in modern age the Homosexuals and Feminists are blamed, in previous history the Jews were.

Plagues? Blame the Jews.

Famine? Blame the Jews.

Crusade Death Toll? Blame the Jews.

Spanish Insulation? Blame the Jews.

European Witch Hunts? Blame the Jews.

Hitler is butt hurt because no one bought his paintings? Blame the Jews.

You might note Blame can be swapped with Kill. So do I support Israel as it exists? Frak no. But do I appreciate how it came to be a city of militarized pissed off paranoid Jewish people? Hell yes.

Side Note: I hope I live to see the Feminist and LGBTA Military Empire. Because its  going to be *faaaabulous*.

Now a little about me. I am not Jewish. Nor am I Muslim. I am not any Variant of Christianity.

I am a Wiccan. I keep it to myself. It means I believe in a life giving nature diety. The Pentacle is my holy symbol. The points represent the four elements of nature-Fire, Water, Wind, Earth-and Spirit. Particularly the human spirit. It is also a symbol of protection.

I am also Biromantic. Mostly keep it to myself, but I do have a lady love. We talk about a future together and raising a tiny person.

Which means on the outside I look like a calm conservative young lady

I am a ball of rage at Injustice.

I have thought about going goth so people stop assuming.

That said.

I will fight for every person's freedom of religion. As long as they don't try to prostelize, bless by god or goddess of their choice.

Two adults have the right to do what they will with their bodies. Be it make love with someone of the same gender identity, change their own gender identity, or abstain from sex for personal preference.

Side Note: Demi-Sexual exists for those who are not. It exists so we can stop shaming those who enjoy casual sex. They are simply sexual.

I was born a Caucasian female. I was blessed by the Mother Goddess to be perfectly comfortable in my skin. Others are not so lucky. I will support their rights to my last breath.

Possibly beyond. There may be a big LGBTA thing at my Memorial. I will will my bisexual Wiccan ashes be strewn around the base of the Westboro Baptist Church, or whatever hate group exists then. And into the eyes of bigots by those willing to pull on Ski Masks and rig up Aersol Ash cans.

They say politics shouldn't matter in friendships. I disagree. If I am severely put off or upset by your world views, I reserve the right to step away.

Side Note: Biblia has suggested I not let the rough seas get to me. We are on the smallest-the Nina. Because I totally have control over my Biological Functions.

Also a note to those who say the Islam and Muslim population spit out the most terrorists.

Oklahoma City Capital.